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japanese dragon:

- long
- chill
- no wings
- legs
- moustache
- in the sea

chinese dragon:

- long
- p chill
- no wings
- legs often but not always
- impressive beard
- 9 is a big deal

european dragons:

- jerks
- breathing fire
- wings
- often actually a wyvern
- compulsive hoarding
- caves

slavic dragon:

- three fucking heads bro
- can you believe it
- wings and like
- 3 whole heads


- honestly probably just a whale and you should all chill 

American Dragon:

- jake long

(via wolverhamperton)


america is like the popular girl in school: everyone talks shit about her behind her back, but as soon as she talks to them, everyone pretends they love her because they know they’ll be cooler and get invited to parties

(via automatically)


This one time someone asked me, “Hey do you know this girl named Dayna? You look kind of alike. Are you sisters?”

Yes. We just have the same name.

(via automatically)



girl: fuck me daddy

me: don’t call me daddy…call me dad

girl: ok…dad…are you gonna make me cum today?

me: ask your mother 


(Source: dekutrickortreat, via automatically)


can cute guys stop being: 

  1. gay
  2. famous
  3. shorter than me
  4. taken
  5. 1834203 miles away from me
  6. younger than me 
  7. 20 years older than me

(via automatically)

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